Dearly beloved... We are gathered here today to get through this thing called "Glow." Electric word, glow. That means bright and loud, black lights showtime. But I'm here to tell you there's something else: Neon. A beacon of never-ending tackiness. You can always be seen, day or night.... Let's Glow Crazy!

Wooooo! Listen up brotherrr, I'm comin' for you, yeah! Tonight the Skullycrusher is gonna drag your chicken little tender torso across the deck, headbang you from the top rope, and then buy you a tiny child’s ice cream cone, because that’s what heroes do! Let's get ready to rumble! OHHH YEAH!

Tease those bangs high and break out the pastel cummerbunds, Class of '85... It's gonna be the most magical night of your life since your nerdy best friend confessed they had a crush on you in 8th grade Chemistry! We're gonna slow dance until we run out of spiked punch or Phil Collins power ballads, whichever comes first.

Attention all Rosannas, Brandys, Valeries, Rich Girls, McDonalds, Logginses, Christophers, Captains and assorted Smooth Operators... This is gonna be the Nautiest night since the Catalina Wine Mixer! So don your crisp whites, pastel polos, flirty tennis gear, and don't forget the champagne and sexy sax solos!

Fire up the flux capacitor and cue the workout montage because it’s time for a Bartles & Jaymes Wine Cooler-fueled night of the best in 80’s TV & Movies! There are only, like, countless icons from the A-Team of decades. But we do pity the fools who have to choose between Golden Girls and Goonies.

Hairheads, it's your time to shine. Debauchery, DLR split kicks, decadence, the elastic wonders of spandex, and reenactments of The Dirt. Let’s get rowdy and make it a night Nancy Reagan would start a war against. Please note there’s only one rule here on the Sunset Ship: Any hair under 12” tall will not be admitted to ride.